April 18, 2007

What's Behind Door Number 2

Ok imagine a bathroom with 5 stalls. You're comfortably seated in the first stall minding your own "business" when a woman enters the restroom, goes directly into the second stall, and takes a big poo.

Now it happens that I was the person in that first stall. And I thought to myself, "How rude! If I were her, I would have gone down to the last stall to do that!"

Being the kind of person who likes confirmation that I'm always right, I asked an authority later that evening: "Mallory, If you had to poo at school, and someone was already in the first stall, would you sit RIGHT BY THEM to do that, or go down to a stall as far away as you could?"

She answered that she would, indeed choose the stall inches away from the first occupant.

"WHY?" I asked, horrified – in my best "where did I go wrong in raising you?" tone of voice.

"Because if someone else walked in, they wouldn't know which one of us was taking the poo."


Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, like mother like daughter I see, well not in ALL ways perhaps but in the sense of humor department.
How about a photo for the roll of honor??

9:27 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

I think I have whiplash of the "clicker finger" from the double-take I did in my browser when hitting your blog this morning Ivy. I'd become rather enamored of your February 16 post, and used to seeing it every morning when I drop by to say hello ;-)

I'm with you on the bathroom etiquette issue. Besides, Federal Poo Protocol specifically states, “2nd and subsequent pooers contemplating taking a poo in facilities equipped with more than two stalls where there is space sufficient to allow said 2nd and subsequent pooers to poo two or more stalls away from those already seated shall do just that.

Hope you’re well and happy and enjoying life.

2:57 AM  
Blogger Meow said...

Haha, I like her logic !!!
Take care, Meow

3:38 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Her logic prevails, Ivy.

6:35 PM  
Blogger se7en said...

Hey look, Ivy's back!

Now that's funny, why not share the love? Or the odor rather...


7:31 AM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Reminds me of several POTTY stories... none are for considered family friendly. But I do remember a movie "The Hero" (I think) in which Richard Pryor robbed some guy in the men's room and smeeling the oder, told him... "You need to see a doctor ...!" ~ lz///

6:24 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

Wow...your daughter is going to run the world someday. What a genius PR move!!!

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1:24 PM  
Blogger ShooShoo said...

HaHaHaHa... That is F-in hilarious. I must say, I am more like you. I hide in the back handicapped stall, or avoid going in a public bathroom at all when possible (okay, maybe you aren't *quite* as weird as me about it!)... But to force someone in there to be right next to yer stank?? That's just plain rude (although I can see the point to your daughter's argument!). ;) I take it a person who does that doesn't courtesy flush, either??!

Dang, has it really been this long since I even visited your blog??? You and I both need to get back into this writing thing. I always love the stuff you post. :) Hope all is well with you, Miss Ivy...

2:47 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Wow...has it been since April? I stop by every day in hopes you might start posting again. Hope all is well wtih you.

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a difference between big poos and noisy poos. Maybe the did it for the freak you out factor :D


8:03 AM  

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