May 27, 2006

Happy Birthday!

To my darling daughter Mallory, who is now 15; and to my friend Peter, who is a tad older than Mallory.

May 13, 2006

Where Has All My Money Gone? It Ran Away With My Memory

My billfold has this strange Bermuda Triangle-like phenomenon going on. For example, sometimes I might go to pay for something and then ask myself, "Where's that 10 dollar bill that was in here?" After applying intense interrogation methods to determine the guilty party (I grill each of the usual suspects one by one: my son, my daughter, then the dog) - I try to recall every item I have purchased since the money was last seen. This is no easy task. When I start recalling different events, I keep distracting myself, interrupting myself, and just generally getting so sidetracked in my thoughts that I don't even remember what I was trying to bring to mind. But really, I guess that’s a whole other story…

May 05, 2006

You Can Make Your Son Help Remodel The Bathroom, But You Can't Prevent Him From Mocking Your Attempts To Document The Progress With A Camera

May 04, 2006

Hey, 14

I wonder if other people have a favorite substitute number that they use, like I do, for situations where the real number is not known, or is just not important. Mine is 14. Not necessarily my favorite number in the world (that’s number 8), but it’s my catch-all, works in every situation number. For example, I may say that I tried to call you fourteen times last night. The number can change depending on the degree of the exaggeration, like I may say that the water bill was fourteen hundred dollars this month, or that I have asked the kids to pick up their wet towels fourteen thousand times, or that I've consumed fourteen billion calories today. But in order for it to qualify as a favorite substitute number, the base number has to always stay the same.