February 07, 2006

I haven't been saying much lately. Haven't felt much like writing. In one and a half hours I will be standing in front of the judge again to see if my divorce will go through. My husband asked me not to post anything about him or our divorce online any more, but right now he doesn't have internet access, so I'm taking a chance. He doesn't like the settlement, but finally went ahead and signed it just to get it all over with. For those of you who've been through a divorce, I have a question: Can anybody ever really be happy with their settlement? You can't take 1 and divide it by 2 and have each person still end up with 1. I wish it would have been this hard to get married. It would be much easier to work on something this difficult when you're young, energetic, and madly in love with the person. Now it's all bitter, and hateful, and unfair - and it gets tiring working on this. There are so many ways you can juggle all the numbers for the assets and the debts. Remember, I started this last year! Click here if you started reading after November 1st. I have spent so much time and energy on this, saving us thousands of dollars on legal fees. Trying to look out for myself, yet be as fair as I possibly can - only to be told I'm selfish and greedy as he signed the paperwork. Oh well, if this doesn't go through today, I will break down and hire a lawyer. Maybe the one I consulted with that put me off because he seemed to want my husband living under a bridge in a cardboard box that he could barely afford. Might be the only way I can prove just how fair I've been!

20 Comments:

Anonymous cassie-b said...

I hope it works out today. If not, go for the gold!

Cas
Been there, done that. And I got more than my share, but don't tell him.

7:31 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I'm so sorry you're in such a difficult struggle right now.
I hope it does go through today, and you can look forward instead of fighting over the past and who gets what. I'm sure your whole world feels bogged down and depressing. My usual "Chin Up!" probably won't do the trick either. I just hope that this goes through and after some time, you will begin to blossom again.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I hope it went well in court today Ivy.

12:07 PM  
Blogger ShooShoo said...

Said a little prayer for you, and am hoping that it all works out quickly, without too much more hassle... and that you are feeling much better by the time you read this.

I've never been divorced (or even married for that matter), but have had my share of painful experiences. I certainly relate to having times where I'm not feeling like writing. But I try to force myself a little more often than I used to in those situations... I think it usually ends up being therapeutic. Hang in there girl!

12:34 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Knowing you as much (and as little) as I do, I have no doubt whatsoever that you were bending over backward. Good luck today, and please let us know how it turns out, Ivy the Good.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Karlos said...

I don't envy you my dear. Keep your chin up, keep being fair, and keep doing what's right. If he's still not happy, he'd probably never be happy unless he got everything, and that wouldn't be fair now would it?

I love your division problem analogy. Very true.

I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Rain said...

Oh Ivy, I'm sorry to hear that you are in the middle of divorce. I agree with you, it should be as hard to get married. I hope it's over soon for you and you get to move on to other things. Uh! too bad he reads your blog! You don't even get to vent!

3:58 PM  
Blogger Meow said...

I hope it goes well in court today, so you can get past that and get on with your life. Take care, Meow

4:06 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

No, I don't think there's any way for everyone involved to be completely satisfied with a settlement. I wasn't, but in the end, I got what I wanted: out of a painful marriage with my sanity somewhat intact (although some would argue that point with me!).
Wishing the best for you, and remember: This too shall pass.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Sirs_Girl said...

Well, how big was the cardboard box? And under what bridge? Some of them are actually quite nice - and rent controlled as well. And if he gets the biggest mound of dirt to rest his box on, it might be considered a penthouse. Now you wouldn't want that would you? Oh and what did you say in the comment that just disappeared in my entry? Good luck in court, hon. You'll do fine.

5:14 PM  
Blogger se7en said...

Wow, good luck with your situation, I hope you come out on top!

:)

8:23 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, well I guess It's all over by now! sure hope it went well, after the R A act he's lucky he hasn't got board and lodgings at the local BAR and GRILL.

8:45 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Show me a husband who is SATISFIED with his divorce settlement and I'll show you a husband who is about to marry a RICH widow! ~ Good LUCK! ~ jb///

9:13 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

Awww...Ivy...this is rough. Which is the reason why I'll never marry again. I'll shack up...lol..but it's just too hard to get out of when you have that state-assigned piece of paper. 'Course, it does give you perks in settlement so maybe it's not all bad. Good luck, hon...keep the strength...you'll do fine. ;o)

4:57 AM  
Anonymous TSB said...

I'm thinking about you hun...hope it all turns out to your satisfaction.

5:50 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Your quote about taking 1 and dividing it by 2 doesn't equal 1 is right on the mark. That is the crux of most if not all divorce settlement disputes. having been through it before, I sympathize.

7:59 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

It must be the middle of the day with you now, and I'm wishing you strong positive thoughts. And in another year or two this should all have faded into the insignificant memory it deserves.

Thinking of you, take care!

8:27 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

UK starting prices for experienced staff:

Live in companion: £80 a day
Live in housekeeper: £50 a day
Live in nanny: £50 a day
Chauffeur £20,000 per year
Butler: £22,000

80+50+50=180, x 365 days = £65,700

add the 42k, = £107,700 per year.

I make that to mean your value as a wife came to $188,000 every year of the marriage!

Hope that helps your self esteem a little ;-)

11:56 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

There was nothing to settle in mine. Now THAT's sad! Thinkin' about you chick.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Penny said...

Boy, can I relate to this one! When it finally came down to the final meeting, my ex had 4 demands:
1. My daughter was to evacuate the apartment we owned immediately (no way ... 30 day notice!);
2. I had to sign over the car his parents gave US (that's ok ... I already had a brand new car);
3. He wanted half of my collection of oil lamps (HA! On your best day, buddy!);
4. We had an antique dining room set with 8 chairs ... he wanted 4 of the chairs (oh for cripes sake! TAKE 4 chairs! I got the table anyway!)

Sure hope it all worked out for you, Ivy! Any time you think you might have made a mistake by divorcing him, just remember the settlement fight!

9:33 AM  

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