February 26, 2006

Growing Up Ivy - Part 4

Remember what it was like learning to drive? Before I was old enough for my permit, I convinced my Granny to let me "drive the rest of the way home, oh please, oh, please, oh please!" She had a giant Pontiac and once behind the wheel, I thought it seemed like it took up the entire road. We were off the main road, and although this one was paved - it was chock-full of pot-holes. I really, at that time (and sometimes still based on the number of curbs I hit) had no idea exactly where the tires were. So I tried very carefully to miss the potholes, but instead hit almost every one. Granny sat beside me cringing. Finally I guess she just resigned herself to the fact that I suck at driving and she began shouting: "Bulls-eye!" each time I sunk a wheel into a hole.

I finally did get a learner's permit, and mother let me drive her into town. This was when we lived in Oklahoma (Grandpa's Lake) after my dad's retirement from the Air Force. It was the most "country" place I'd ever lived in. So we had far to go into town, and mom letting me drive meant I got to drive on an actual highway! As I was driving along, we saw a turtle crossing the road. It was just at a point where I knew I couldn't swerve to the right, not enough road left on that side, so I decided I would swerve a little to the left and "straddle" it. He'd just think a big shadow crossed his path for a moment, right? I didn't discuss any of this with mom, it just all happened so fast. Hopefully it was a quick death for him, because I ended up running right over him. My mother made a funny little noise and she turned to me with this look of horror on her face, like I was a monster and she said, "If I EVER see you go OUT OF YOUR WAY to kill an animal again..."

I don't think I ever quite convinced her that I was not that evil. I couldn't believe she thought I'd really do that on purpose!


Blogger poopie said...

Poor turtle ;) The most nerve wracking thing I've ever done was teach my girl how to drive. My fists stayed clenched for six months.

9:30 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Listen kid, hell with her. Go out there tonight and drive over all the opossums you want. We'll never run out.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I pray I am never in the crosswalk as you come up on the light...


6:49 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

That brought back a memory from this past summer.
We were on a driving vacation & I was at the wheel.
There was a big, bloated raccoon in the road, and I did the same thing that you did. I did a wild movement to avoid the thing and ended up hitting it dead on.

I think it is so funny that your mom thought you intentionally tried to kill that poor turtle. She thought she'd given birth to a spawn of Satan.

8:19 PM  
Blogger mreddie said...

An old verse comes to mind -'When I would do good, evil was present'. Then and old song - Yo Mama should have said that there'd be days like that. ec

8:34 PM  
Blogger Lis said...

I think you've coined a new phrase for avoiding would be road kill....."Straddin the turtle"

11:46 PM  
Blogger Karlos said...

Great learning to drive story!

I ran over my share of turtles in New Jersey and in Louisiana. Not intentionally, of course. I seem to recall that the sound is a little disconcerting.

3:20 AM  
Blogger Sirs_Girl said...

Oh no! Poor turtle. I hope you don't try that trick with humans. ;)

5:20 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

I've done that so many times, too. Go out of my way to not hit something and hit it anyway.

5:52 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

Oh dear heavens, can't stop, I'm laughing so hard I have to go pee!!!

6:13 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

I'm afraid that we go where our eyes go! Best not to look at what you want to miss.

I remember driving my boyfriend's car and I tried to miss a pothole and instead I hit it dead on. He laughed and said, "You had to dodge to hit that one."

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Penny said...

Poor Turtle! Did it crunch when you hit it? At least when you run over a bird or something it's kinda soft. (I know, I know ... SICK!)

Reminds me of my ex ... he used to aim at cats. Just one more reason for the "EX" distinction.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Doug Bagley said...

You didn't stop, scoop it up, and have turtle soup for dinner? Waste of a good road kill if you ask me, ROFLMBO!

3:37 PM  
Blogger Meow said...

Ooooh, poor turtle. You must've felt awful. Funny story, though. I think we all have done stuff like that !!! Take care, safe driving, Meow

3:50 PM  
Blogger Knows It All said...

Have you seen "Freaks and Geeks"? It was an amazing, but short-lived series. It was about teens in the 70s, and there is an episode where they accidently run over a dog. This is similar. You should see it. It was awesome!

5:09 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Oh man, poor turtle. Too funny that she thought you were determined to kill it.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous TSB said...

Aughhhhhh that poor turtle....please tell me you now have the depth perception to figure out where the wheels are....please, pleae, please!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:58 AM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Awww poor turtle. And poor you. I was behind a truck once that straddled a turtle, by the time I went over it, straddle style, the thing was spinning like a friggin' top. It looked much like your little cartoon.
Lois Lane

8:59 AM  
Blogger Marti said...

{{shudder}} I still have one to teach to drive... LOL!

Great story - and we know you weren't evil...not THEN anyway (just kidding)

1:33 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

Omg...this reminds me of my daughter's first driving lesson. We were on a back road and what did she hit? A turtle. I'm wondering if they are used for sacrifices? I mean, think about it. Everyone has hit at least one in their life. Whatcha think?

5:27 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, GOOD SHOT, ya got him!!!

7:46 PM  

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