January 22, 2006

You Can Lead Me to the Kitchen, But You Cannot Make Me Cook

I have this friend who loves to cook. Even knowing that I'm not too fond of cooking, he once insisted on sharing with me a "simple" recipe. He told me the few ingredients to purchase, and instructed me on how to make it. My eyes glazed over, though, when the instructions included something about a warming light and copper pan to melt the cheese. Is he for real? Has he seen my kitchen? I am not a kitchen gadget sort of gal. So he said, OK, then just use a double-boiler pan. Searching my memory way, way back to 8th grade Home Economics, I could almost picture one, so I said "yeah, OK!" very enthusiastically as if I actually owned one.


Blogger bubba said...

Knowing this I won't suggest my recipe. Its really simple. But ya gotta have tools. lol.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Are you familiar with (a) boiling water, (b) making toast, (c) is next it's called melting cheese.
Don't complicate your life Ivy, just apply some heat, a bloody hair dryer will do at a pinch, now you have the cheese part down, have a look at the rest of the recipie, and as FTS would say, order a pizza!!!

5:57 PM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

Bah. Cooking is for people who don't know how to blog.


6:40 PM  
Blogger ShooShoo said...

Amen sistah! What did we ever do before the invention of the microwave??? ;)

1:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Exactly! All you need to cook is your index finger. Perfect for dialing for pizza or Chinese food, and tailor made for pushing the buttons on the microwave.

Let's eat!

4:21 AM  
Blogger se7en said...

All it takes to be a great cook is a good smoke alarm to let you know when the food is done!

I have to confess I'm not good at oven cleaning, it's gotten so bad all I can bake is one cupcake at a time!


5:38 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

Bah! Who wants to create that fancy stuff in your own kitchen? I mean, what would you look forward to when you went out for a meal?!

(Say this with enough authority and no-one questions whether you actually could cook fancy stuff at home ;o))

6:00 AM  
Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Come on over! I love to cook, but I can't get these kids to eat enough to justify the time.

6:02 AM  
Anonymous Penny said...

I guess I'm in the minority ... I'm one of those that does have all the expensive cookware and every kitchen gadget know to man. Now if I can get settled into our house and get them shipped from Maine, maybe I can start using them! Anytime you want to know how to melt cheese, Ivy, just give me a call!

7:27 AM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Melt cheese? I thought it came in a spray can so you don't haffta. :P
Lois Lane

8:46 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I tried giving up cooking for lent. It didn't go over too well with my family. Damn!

9:21 AM  
Blogger Vegas Princess said...

I'm the same way. If I don't have it written down, step by step of how to make it, Iam hopeless. My poor husband does most of the cooking or it is micro meals!

I got your link off of Jamie Dawn's site and I have been meaning to post here to say hi, but you beat me to it on my blog! I really enjoy reading your posts!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

The best melted cheese is the cheap generic stuff, shoved in the microwave.

Cooking light? Double boiler? Pah!

Easy toasted sandwich - use the toaster. Slice the cheese, place it between toast slices, shove in microwave til you see it oozing out the sides. Remove sandwich and press down with hand to make it all stick together.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Uh, I take it you never actually got around to making that simple recipe. I really love to cook and bake, and I really, really love to eat. I don't like complicated recipes though. It doesn't need to be hard to taste good.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

I burned water once.

Actually, I burned the pot. All the water had evaporated out of it.

Point: I can't cook. Fire and me...well, we just don't mix.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

I have a neighbor who tries a new recipe almost every day. Knowing I HATE (I'm using the word "hate" here) to cook, she still tries to tell me the recipe and about cooking it. AHHHH!!

I DO like to bake though - you can tell by looking at my hips.

1:18 PM  
Blogger FTS said...

I could buy one, but then what? I could in the garage all day, but that wouldn't make me a Jaguar.

1:41 PM  
Blogger jay are said...

what exactly IS a double-boiler pan anyway?? I always avoid recipes that call for one or anything else tricky that isn't a basic pot or pan. And I even like to cook....
Crock-pots are pretty good for non-cooker types (or cooker types). I think there actually ARE some simple recipes for those....

3:11 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Well, hell, Ivy, you can make a double boiler, easy. Put an empty dog food can* on top of some rocks in a big tomato juice can and pour in a little water. Why people spend money on Revere-ware is beyond me...

*Don't use a cat food can unless you like the taste of fish guts.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

Oooooh, I hate to cook! Unless it's a holiday, then I'm turning out feasts for a king. Double boiler? Nope, don't own one when two pots on top of each other will do. ;o)

5:13 PM  
Blogger poopie said...

I LOVE to cook. I won't mention all the nasty experiments I did along the way to becoming Betty Crocker!

5:33 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

I hate to cook. We eat out a LOT. My stove looks as if it's brand new.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Monique said...

I'm not much of a cook either. Though I do have lots of kitchen gadgets that I NEVER use.

6:17 PM  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

My favorite thing to make for dinner is. . .


4:29 AM  
Blogger Matthew said...

What kind of "friend" is this?

4:30 AM  
Blogger Meow said...

Ivy, is blogger misbehaving, or did you delete your most recent post. I thought it was great fun, although I noticed a not-so-nice comment made anonymously on it. Don't take offence, not everyone out there can enjoy a bit of mischievious banter. Nothing offensive about what you wrote. Just thought I'd mention what I thought. Love your blog, by the way. Take care, Meow

2:50 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

I was coming back today to comment on your last post which I read yesterday. Now it's gone. just wanted you to know that i meant wwell. :)

6:46 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Excuse my stuttering on the last comment. lol

6:47 AM  
Blogger FTS said...

If you don't post soon, I'm coming to your kitchen to cook. :p

8:56 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Don't ever delete anything Ivy, just 'cos some one else doesn't agree,'specially an anon-e-mouse.
Get back here girl, we miss ya.

5:11 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

You've disappeared! Come back!

10:44 PM  
Blogger PI said...

If you get a large pan, put some water in and then place a smaller pan in the larger pan (I think I'm losing the thread)...
Oh yes the smaller pan in the larger pan and voila, you have a double boiler. Don't mensh!

7:23 AM  
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