January 16, 2006

Stand Back, People.... I Have a Putty-Knife and I Know How to Use It!

First, I must warn you... I am sitting in an office chair from Wal-Mart that I assembled MYSELF. So if you hear a loud crash... and see something similar to this: odvgo7 e# ngn* lodv;wm - that is me typing from the floor. Translated it means: "I've fallen and I can't get up, please call 911."

I got a phone call this morning from my sister. She asked me if I'd read
FTS yet. I said, "No, Jules, I have a friend from work coming over and I am frantically trying to catch up on housework. I have not even turned on the computer." She said that I should, as FTS wrote about me. Me? What'd I do? So I briefly stopped rearranging the dust in my house to check out his site. Awwww, how sweet! Birthday wishes for me! And he sent so many people over to say Happy Birthday. Thanks, so much!

All I had time to do was comment on his site, and then get on with the housework. I was determined to trick my friend into thinking I clean house more than once a year. He walked up to the back door while I was spraying Windex on the door window. Considering it was doggie nose prints I was wiping off, and the fact that I gave my dog to
Jules quite some time ago, I don't think he was fooled.

Now before any gossip starts about a man coming to my house, let me tell you why he was here. I am trying to do some home repairs, and he came over to show me how to fix some things around the house. Man, I gotta tell you... this guy is easy. For the price of a cheeseburger at Snuffers, he was wall-putty in my hands. It was like having a personal handy-man from one of those TV shows show up at my door. He walked me through what all we needed on our list, we went to the store together, and he pointed out exactly what to buy, (getting me out of Home Depot in record time) then gave me step by step instructions back at my house.

This is too cool, people. I feel like
Poopie must have when she got her power sander. I feel empowered, I feel like Susie Homebuilder. Heck, I may put my fist through a wall tomorrow, just because I know how to patch it, and I HAVE THE STUFF TO PATCH IT WITH!


Blogger jules said...

DOES windex take the doggie nose prints off? I'm gonna have to try that on the front windows.

5:11 PM  
Blogger bubba said...

cool. When's the tv show start? What channel? lol.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

I can see it on the screen clear as day;

7:18 PM  
Blogger Sirs_Girl said...

Ohh, when is your birthday? If I missed it, I'm really sorry and belated happy birthday! Actually, happy birthday regardless! *hugs*

7:37 PM  
Blogger ddddddddddddddddddddd said...

Hey, FTS told me it was your birthday and I've come by to grovel on his behalf. LOL

Happy Belated Birthday.

Keep smilin'

(Joe Cool Cowboy poet - http://joecools-countrymusic.blogspot.com)

8:30 PM  
Blogger oopseedaisee said...

FTS pointed out it is your birthday. Looks like you got the perfect gift...a handy man! Hope he looked as good as he worked!

8:56 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Hmmmm, so you're getting all chummy with your handyman, huh? Have him take a look at that chair while you're at it.

I'm posting a link to your blog in my post tomorrow!!
You are such a funny lady. I just have to toot your horn!!

9:23 PM  
Blogger Meow said...

Hi Ivy, thought I'd pop on over and have a peep at your blog. Wow, it's great. Jamie Dawn sent me here, by the way. Anyway, have fun with the tools and stuff, and maybe the handyman too !!!
Take care,

12:40 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...


When my first husband left I could already solder and change a plug, but had to learn how to plaster walls (yes in the UK all walls are brick walls, with wet plaster on top) and graduated to filling the hole he had punched into the fire doors. What a wuss, always showed off, but always picked the easy hollow doors.

Its a brilliant sensation to know you can do DIY - Congratulations!

1:40 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

I can do a lot around the house, but am going to advise you against going through the wall! (Unless you can persuade the handyman to move in and finish it for you ;o))

2:36 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Jamie Dawn was right, you are funny. What we won't do for a cheeseburger. *shakes head*

8:50 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

We are women hear us roar! Me and my roomies had a strategy meeting yesterday afternoon to plot our plan to 'git her done.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

You Go Girl!
Happy Belated Birthday!
You can come to my house to clean once you're done with yours ;)
Jamie Dawn sent me :)

9:49 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Sounds like the best kind of power tool! ;-)

9:57 AM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Jamie Dawn sent me and I'm sure glad she did! I have had my laughs for the day!!! Thanks so much! And a Belated Happy Birthday To You!

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Penny said...

Easy, huh? Wall putty in your hands, huh? "Fix" things around the house, huh?

uh-huh. Sounds like a "HANDY" man to me!

p.s. just be careful with those power tools. I know someone that used the drill on her thumb instead of the screw she was aiming at ... of course, the same person was dangerous with any sharp object. :)

10:19 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Jamie Dawn sent me! Funny post. I'm glad your chair held up! Sounds like a cool handy man to have around!

10:36 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

LOL Thanks for making me giggle today Ivy.

10:50 AM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Happy birthday! Sorry I am late. What a cool guy that putty fella is!
Lois Lane

11:09 AM  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

So when was your birthday? What's the date!

1:10 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

You can just never tell what we guys will do for a meal sometimes! I have thought about actually trying to live in a "Home Depot" some times. Sometimes my wife think I do. But since "Lowes" moved in across the street from Home Depot and their people SEEM a little more helpful... I may move in there instead! Don't cut off anything with your new tools. Remember this ABOVE ALL! "Measure TWICE ~ Cut ONCE!" ~ Good luck AL... err Ivy! ~ jb///

1:35 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

You're a lot of fun, Ivybuilder. Thanks.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Just got out of a world class traffic jam. I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. I hope I'm not too late.

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Monique said...

I love your blog cuz you are so darn funny. When you are done patching your walls, wanna come help me hang some drywall?

7:24 PM  
Anonymous TSB said...

I can relate....lets just say I had a "plumbing incident" this weekend and leave it at that....

10:34 PM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Nothing wrong with it (if he's single) but I'd still say your friend has ulterior motives. I's guess he was there more for the pleasure of your company. Who could blame him for that?

6:58 AM  
Blogger se7en said...

Happy, happy birthday Ivy!! weeee !!


7:48 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Happy B-Day. And as for tools: right after my divorce, my new neighbor (also a single woman) insisted that the first and most important thing to buy was My Very Own Toolbox. I still have it to this day, and she was right.

9:40 AM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

I love that feeling when I do cool 'manly' stuff...
Rest assured it doesn't happen that often.
But I DO have a certain talent for diagnosing car problems from listening to the sounds they make.
It's just spooky.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous robthetoolman said...

I think I resent the implication in these comments that I am simply a man who's well endowed, in a tool sort of way, who's looking for an easy mark. It just makes me feel cheap in some way.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Silver Fox said...

Repairs start at $39.95 for Handyman, Plumbing & Handyman Services.

Silver FOX Home Comfort Services offers a FULL SERVICE program to maintain one of your biggest investments - YOUR HOME! We offer a 'ONE CALL DOES IT ALL" concept allowing you - the home owner - the convenience of solving ALL your HOME'S needs by contacting your Silver Fox Independent Home Comfort Specialists.

Is your Handyman giving you problems? Visit our website - we can help!

6:39 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home