January 03, 2006

Is It Just Me?

Have you ever just bumped into a wall for no good reason? I'm not talking about walking head into it, just bumped your elbow, or shoulder, or your hand. And you're not drunk and you're not dizzy, and you've been walking by that very wall for fifteen years.

Or is that just me?

Ladies, have you ever been lucky enough for your pantyhose to last more than one day, but the next time you put them on they have a big black mark from the inside heel of the shoe that now shows on your ankle creeping up toward the back of your calf?

Or is that just me?

Have you ever had to tug so hard to get your jeans up over your hips that you eventually rip little holes where the belt loops are sewn to your pants?

Or is that just me?

Have you ever tried to pretend like it didn't bother you that every one of your girlfriends got asked to dance but you, and so you sit there in the club trying to act all sexy and nonchalant and scan the room, and go to take a sip from the straw in your fancy schmancy girly drink... and stick it straight up your nose?

Don't answer. That's just me.


Blogger bubba said...

Yep its you. lol. I hate having my panties in a wad also. OOppss. I don't have panties. Oh forget it. Senior moment. I think???

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Monique said...

Yes to all but the last. That one is uniquely Ivy! LOL!!

6:35 PM  
Blogger mreddie said...

Can certainly relate to the first one - it's mostly my head, hand or arm. It's like I suddenly forgot exactly where my hand or head was in relation to some solid object. Particularly bad on the head - no hair to protect it and all - many acars. It's not from drinking and I'm not dizzy - at least in a physical sense. :)

No direct experience with the rest, but I can identify with feeling like a klutz in my younger years. ec

6:42 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

No! But then THAT'S JUST ME! ~ Well... the pantyhose MAYBE! ~ jb///

6:43 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

First two are definitely me. I'm usually smacking my hand against walls. The last one wouldn't happen because I'd get up and dance by myself. :) But that's just me.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Lis said...

ummmm........its me too!
Have you ever thought a man was checking out your cleavage only to discover what he was probably staring at was the blob of grape jelly that had squirted out unbeknownst to you on your T-shirt?
Or is THAT just me?

8:21 PM  
Blogger FTS said...

I can honestly say I've never had a run in my hose or stuck a straw from a girly drink up my nose.

10:35 PM  
Blogger Karlos said...

Running into walls and kicking chair/table legs with my little toe are me for sure. :-)

2:54 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

There are some advantages in being male Ivy, most of those particular things don't apply, but have you ever got home late from the club , to be met at the bedroom door by a lady with an armload of bedclothes and directions to the couch..... Or is that just me?

4:57 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Have you ever been about to lead the music in Church and discover that your fly is open? Or is that just me?

6:17 AM  
Blogger Sudiegirl said...

I have done all four.

And yet, somehow I survive and have sex on a semi-regular basis.

Don't ask me how...


8:39 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

LOL, nope, it's not just you sweetie. I've done them all too.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

The only one of those that doesn't also apply to me is the panty-hose one. And that's maybe because it's been that long since I wore any, the only type I have are the really thick black ones left over from the late 80s ;o)

Oh and I have two jumping-out object stories: being a smoker, in high wind I have to duck to light up - and I once walked into a lampost, twice (but it was the same lampost, on the same occassion - so I only count once ;o)) And the other worst was when I worked in a travel agents and was nervous as the client was sooooo cute - so nervous my elbow knocked the display wall and roughly two thousand brochures descended like a waterfall (so embarressed, I ran!)

You're definitly not alone!

10:12 AM  
Blogger Trucker Bob said...

Have you ever noticed that Ivy is damn good at this blog stuff?

Or is just me?

12:54 PM  
Blogger Marti said...


I swear, I think the walls walk into ME - LOL

The pantyhose foot stain usually goes unnoticed until I arrive at the "Important Destination"...and the mark is on the front, since I wore them backwards from the last time - LOL!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

That last one if so cute and funny. I can see that as a scene in a movie.

I've had panty hose get stains on the heels and toes from wearing black shoes. I hate panty hose and rarely wear them, but I had to let you know you're not the only one that has happened to.

I've opened cupboards and bent over to do something then stood up and banged my head on the open cupboard. I feel your pain!

1:59 PM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

I'm glad you didn't really want answers. ;)
While we are on the subject, I gotta know, when you have to go to the OB/GYN, do you hide your under garments in the folds of your pants as if a panty raid is going to take place? Or is it just me.
Lois Lane

2:52 PM  
Blogger se7en said...

Happy new years ta ya Ivy!!! Hope the coming year sees ya doing just a bit less of the goober stuff, or maybe not... cause ya know we love reading it! LOL


2:56 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I sure wish I could be somewhere and observe all this. But I wouldn't laugh at you, Ivy. No, never.... (giggle, chortle, cackle, thigh slap...)

3:22 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Have you ever said a round of good-byes, and kissed everyone, etc., left and then had to walk right back in because you forgot something?

Or is that just me?

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Hale McKay said...

Have you ever come home from drinking walking in perfect figure eights and try to get in the door only to discover you are a block from your house. Ah, you too?

6:44 PM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

No, all of 'em are me too, up to and including the last. I have also poked my eye with the stupid straw.
I'm SO cool. Mmmmm hm. Yeah.

5:38 PM  

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