December 24, 2005

I'm Just Sitting Here Remembering Little Bits of Christmas Pasts. Kinda Like Scrooge, Only Without the Terror of Ghosts Guiding Me Through It

One of my favorite Christmas memories was when my mom bought me a plane ticket to spend Christmas with a friend in South Dakota. I was 15, my family and I had moved (totally against my will) to Oklahoma, leaving all my best friends from 9th grade behind. So I went to Nancy's house and got to see all my old buddies. Just before we went to bed Christmas Eve, I said, "Where are your stockings? Let's hang stockings!" Since that wasn't one of their family traditions, Nancy selected a striped sock from her drawer, and I hung up one of my Starsky & Hutch socks. The next morning we each found a dollar bill in them. N's mom said, she had meant to go outside and find a dog turd to put in them, but didn't because a) it was so cold she didn't want to go out, and b) the frozen dookie would have thawed in the warmth of the house. I realize now, that it's not nice to impose your own traditions on other people at the last possible moment, and expect them to come through. But I was grateful for the dollar, and so happy not to have poo in my S & H sock.

I remember a Christmas when my son was so young that we had to teach and encourage him to rip open the presents. He just didn't grasp the concept that if he tore open one gift and found something cool, that there might be something great in the next box. I was the one that should have learned a lesson there, I had a son who was happy with one gift! Ha HA, if only I'd known. But yet we encouraged him to "Here! rip open another one!" "See what's in this box!" Well, one short year later, the boy had caught on. It was about a week before Christmas, and I walked out of my bedroom and observed his little 2 1/2 year old self dragging a gift from under the tree to his bedroom. After a few ripping sounds, I hid behind the door so he wouldn't see me and watched him repeat this process about four times. He never looked sneaky, just selected a gift, dragged it to his room, opened it, left it laying there (so far all he'd found was some clothes for his aunt, some perfume for a cousin, and a few other boring things), and went back for another. I finally had to put a stop to it because I got the giggles so bad, I was busted hiding behind the door spying on him. Plus I didn't really feel like re-wrapping all those gifts.

Another Christmas memory involves my daughter. It was Christmas 2003, I think. The presents were all wrapped, she shook and felt each one that had her name on it. Intrigued by this one particular gift, pretty heavy for its size, she declared that it was to be the first one she would open. She handled it every day, baffled by what it could be. (does this mean she knew every other gift?) I kept warning her, over and over that it was a gag gift. Finally the day had arrived when she could tear it open. A kitchen fire extinguisher. I am blessed with a daughter that can take a joke, as it was only in early November when she was home alone and had started a grease fire making something to eat, burning herself and most of the kitchen. And unless you think we're cold-hearted and mean... pain and suffering over, most of the scars had healed nicely, (just a few remain on hands and fingers). Her lovely face showed no permanent damage, eyebrows both grown back, insurance paid up, and now it's time to joke about it. Some day when I have a scanner I'll post some pictures of her face and tell you the whole story.

OK, very long post, I know. And now I'm going to try to get my big rear end in gear and do some things around the house.

I hope that you all have a great Christmas Holiday. Wishing you the best!


Blogger ShooShoo said...

Thanks for sharing your great Christmas stories... The Starsky & Hutch sock was killin' me! :)

1:40 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

When I was first married it was important to the Lady that we have stockings to hang.
As the family grew and we found ourselves owning an actual mantle from which to hang them from, it grew from the first two to six. It has grown to include children in law and grandchildren
I wouldn't want it any other way..

2:09 PM  
Blogger se7en said...

Hoping you and family all the best! Merry Christmas Ivy!

Funny story too! hehe


4:53 PM  
Blogger jules said...

I'm still remembering the Christmas I gave you the big box of makeup set and your daughter burst out saying, "Oh...I'm gonna look like a whore tonight!"

6:54 PM  
Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

Ha ha, Jules, we still say that everytime we get makeup gift sets now! She had us all stunned for a moment then we all burst into laughter. Wasn't she like 8 at the time???

8:08 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

These are all CLASSICS Ivy, but the "ALMOST South Dakota dog turd" stocking stuffer has to take the CAKE! Talk about a very UN-Merry Christmas! ~ jb///

8:54 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Wow...a whole new element to the Christmas Poo, huh?

Your stories always make me laugh...

I also enjoy the irony of the fire extinguisher. I can appreciate it, because I suffer from an incurable form of "culinary impairment", myself. I have also set fire – accidentally, of course - to many things (and to think I was surprised when my brother decided to become a fire fighter...)!

9:37 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Oh, and I almost forgot, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

9:38 PM  
Blogger Karlos said...

Great stories Ivy. Merry Christmas!

3:28 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, I just can't get over you Iverson girls, thank you so very much for the offer of help but I believe I've got it sorted now.
As soon as Merle comes home and I hand her site over to her offically I can probably just delete the faulty version from my computer, I'd like to leave the working one there for a while so I can help her set things up a bit, do you see any problems with this? and how can I eventually get her site from mine without killing hers off?
Thanks again, hope your Christmas was terrific.

5:26 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

The fire extinguisher is hysterical. I got The Other Half a lump of coal this year (everyone laughed)... but also got him a lot of other goodies. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

7:50 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

Wonderful Christmas memories! Hope today is providing many more :o)

3:00 PM  
Anonymous TSB said...

Merry Christmas Ivy :)

5:33 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

I think the extinguisher was a wonderful gift!

It just said (probably for the millionth time) - you are not a dork, these things happen, they happen to lots of people, I trust you in the kitchen, there is no horror left in what happened and nothing to go and re-live, IT WAS FUNNY - all sorts of empowering type stuff that it takes real balls to say to your own kid when they have nearly fried themselves, however long after.

I bet you were sh*tting bricks when it happened....


9:52 AM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

LOL, great holiday stories, Ivy! Loved the poo one. I had a pretty nice Christmas...just glad it's over!

10:42 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I hope your weekend was wonderful. I ate a lot and we had a nice, relaxing time as a family.
We are waiting for my parents and brother to get here. They will be here until Friday. Hooray!!! I miss them so much, so I will enjoy their visit very much.

I bet your son looked so cute dragging those gifts into his room. I think he was being secretive, or he would have just opened them right in front of the tree.

12:35 PM  
Blogger FTS said...

You had Starsky & Hutch socks?

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Penny said...

FTS beat me to it ... that was going to be my question. Starsky & Hutch? Really?

Hope you had a great Christmas!

8:19 AM  

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