December 14, 2005

Be Prepared For Some Really Long Run-on Sentences in This Post, I Kid You Not!

The last time I went out to eat, it was for Mexican food. I had just finished a fantastic meal of chicken enchiladas plus fourteen baskets of chips and 32 cups of salsa. I leaned back in my chair, unzipped my pants, shoved my almost empty plate back, noticed the evil glares from the other restaurant patrons, zipped my pants back up, then reexamined the nearly empty plate. My eyes were fixed on the only remaining item on it: the sour cream. So then I thought... "Boy, I long for the days when my kids were little and thought the sour cream was something worth trying to steal, beg or make a trade for." The kids are older and wiser now and long ago (and after only one time each) realized that the white blob is not something sweet. Beats me why they'd ever think that whipped cream or ice cream would be side by side with a matching mound of guacamole and across from the refried beans and rice, anyway. Either keep the sour cream to yourselves, people or let me have my joy back by dining with some gullible kids.

21 Comments:

Blogger Amerloc said...

Just long doesn't make run-on.

You do use your share of fragments, though. I'll have to increase production to keep up.

And the strategic parentheses.... nice touch.


woqjml (sorry. I type with some difficulty. Easier to copy-paste from here)

6:58 PM  
Blogger Müzikdüde said...

There's nothing funnier than pumpkin pie and a dollop of sour cream left on the counter for the kids to steal.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Hmmmm...have you ever tricked your children by putting sour cream on their cake and whipped cream on their nachos? Because, you know, that would be funny...!

7:32 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

My daughter spooned herself some butter at a restaurant thinking it was ice cream. Unfortunately, she liked it.

7:41 PM  
Blogger FTS said...

There are parts of Dallas that unzipping your pants would go unnoticed. Like Twinkytown.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Lis said...

That's why you need a friend like me along for Mexican food fiestas! I'd make a trade in a second because my wimpy Canadian taste buds need that sour cream to survive the jalapenos and salsa!!!
Of course I could just not eat the jalapenos or the salsa....but what fun would that be?

9:56 PM  
Blogger Karlos said...

I wish I'd thought of the sour cream trick when the kids were still suckers! I do remember handing my 18-month-old son a lemon wedge once at a seafood restaurant. He'd been really pestering us to get his hands on the pretty little yellow thingy. The look on his face when he sank his teeth into it was priceless!

By the way, I detected no run-on sentences in your post. :-)

2:58 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

Big jumpers or long shirts hide unzipped pants ;o)

4:42 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, those weren't long run on sentences,I used to read a blog called Hopes humor, or something similar, she used to regularally get 60 to 70 words into a sentence,
My Dad put a big dollop of cream onto his apple pie at a resturant once, it turned out to be mayonaise!!

6:52 AM  
Blogger Trucker Bob said...

I thought that when you had to unzip your pants was when you knew you were full.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Penny said...

So I'm guessing you don't like sour cream? Can I have yours?

8:44 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

ONLY fourteen baskets of chips? Pssh. Gimme some cheese dip with that salsa and I can do twenty!

9:33 AM  
Blogger bubba said...

My worst one was putting horseradish on a spoon and feeding it as tapicoa pudding. I always leave the sour cream off my food. Except for baked potatoes.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I'll take your sour cream; I love that stuff. How funny that your kids thought it was a sweet treat. I think that's sweet... I mean sour. My son loves sc too. He can't stand it if I make tacos and don't have sc for them. My daughter wouldn't touch the stuff.

When my hubby writes his posts, he always has me edit them for him. Your post wasn't nearly as bad as some of his run-on sentences, and don't even get me started on the topic of punctuation.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

LOL. I love sour cream.

My hubby undoes his pants after eating. It's SO embarrassing! Good thing he wears suspenders all the time.

12:51 PM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

I'll take your sour cream.
Yum.
And mix it with some steamed squash.

Jona's right~always wear a really long shirt when going to eat Mexican food.

4:35 PM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

Check your e-mail. :)
Lois Lane

7:43 PM  
Blogger bulletbow said...

I always thought the sour cream was just a garnish used for those who thought the salsa was TOO HOT!!! ~ jb///

8:42 PM  
Anonymous TSB said...

Zip away...who knows you may just find a kindred spirit in a restaurant who's doing the same thing. Think of the luxury of life with a man who understands that sweat pants are more acceptable in eating situations than a sexy pair of jeans....now wouldn't that be cool?

9:25 PM  
Blogger hal the brown said...

Looking around this state, I thought I was the only one who left the sour cream alone.

If you're unzipping your pants that means you haven't given up such social graces as not wearing sweatpants in public. If you haven't given in to elastic then you're doing pretty good.

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Monique said...

I am not at all a sour cream person! Darn, we'd be terrible Mexican eating companions fighting over and rejecting the same condiments!

3:47 PM  

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