November 17, 2005

Richard Simmons, Help Me, Please!

I'm very disappointed about my expanding girth. I've been eating way too much and gaining a ton of weight lately. My floor is littered with dropped items that I am too fat to bend over to pick up, but that are too heavy to pick up with my toes. It is becoming more difficult to button up my jeans and still breathe. Pretty soon I’m going to have to make a choice. And most of the people I know would rather have me stop breathing than have me walk around with my pants undone.


Blogger Serra said...

Wear sweats :)

9:27 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, I knew you were not going to decalre me a Super something!!!
I find that my jeans don't fall down even if I don't/can't do'em up they're still too tight to fall down.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Jona said...

Hang out with some little kids - they often tend to have some nasty bug that'll have you hanging out in bathrooms and shedding pounds in a week ;o)

Good luck.

3:48 AM  
Blogger Karlos said...

It's not you goob...your clothes are shrinking! That's what I say every time I slip into my work attire on Monday mornings! Wait. Men don't slip into clothes. Sorry.

I'm dreading the holidays and all the food. Time for me to test my self-control!

3:56 AM  
Blogger jules said...

Go check out Dick's Fatty Friday, and post her to your fridge. And yes, please quit breathing before you undo your pants. ~shudder~

4:08 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

One word for you: Sweatpants. For those who have truly given up.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Yup, me too. I am NOT giving up, though. I am determined to fight it every step of the way.

7:37 AM  
Anonymous TSB said...

I like the "wear sweats" option.... and not the J-Lo kind that cling, you have to get the really big ones from Steve and Barrys or I find the mens flannel Pajama pants work well too...LOL

7:45 AM  
Blogger FTS said...

I'm thinking, I'm thinking... :p

11:39 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

You are so funny. You better wear an elastic waist on Thanksgiving. Speaking of Sissy Richard, I saw him prancing down the walk at the Charlotte airport a few years ago. My, oh, my, he attracts a crowd.

1:39 PM  

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