November 25, 2005

The Incredible (Expanding Waistline) Hulk

One time I went on a special diet to be able to get back into my favorite slinky silk dress for a friend's wedding. Thanks to raw broccoli, broiled chicken, and control-top pantyhose the dress not only fit me again, I looked pretty darn good! But then I ate so much at the reception that I began to feel like I was going to rip out every seam! I had wedding cake, groom's cake, little sausages, baby quiches, all kinds of salty nuts, cheese, and more! I pictured myself like that comic-book hero transforming into The Hulk. One more piece of wedding cake and my favorite dress would soon be hanging off me in shreds, just exactly like The Hulk! Except The Hulk didn't wear a dress. And I didn't turn green. And I wasn't mad. But apart from those few differences, it was exactly like that.


Blogger Peter said...

I'm on a roll first at Hoss' now first at hivy's, ya sure ya weren't turnin' a bit green?

3:52 AM  
Blogger Matthew said...

If you had outgrown your dress, would you have become mad and turned green?

4:08 AM  
Anonymous TSB said...

I'm waiting for the pill that exercises you while you sleep and them sheds the pounds before you wake up. Until then the hell with all this dieting's making me crazy.

6:09 AM  
Blogger bulletbow said...

I love the look of your blog site. It is my first visit to it. Also loved this post, especially given the time of year it is. Although we don't all look like the Incredible Hulk, most of our clothes seem to get tighter this time of year!

6:37 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

We will leave my in-laws on Sunday. I hoping I will be able to button my jeans! You are right about salty foods. They puff you up big time!

7:37 AM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

hey, I've seen the Hulk in a dress. NOT pretty. ;)

I'm getting my ears stapled today...I did in once before and it worked, except one ear started swelling a bit so I had them taken out before it could get infected.

We'll see what happens. :) Wish me luck!

8:04 AM  
Blogger mreddie said...

The green guy is about what I look like right after I work out. Except his muscles are much bigger, I'm too tired to look that angry, he has much more hair, my feet are not that big, I wear a shirt to keep warm and I'm not that shade of green.

Good post, thanks for the chuckle. ec

9:41 AM  
Blogger Doug Bagley said...

I think after eating our huge Thanksgiving meal, most of us can fully relate.

11:19 AM  
Blogger FTS said...

Oh, but before you get too comfortable, don't forget there are leftovers. Turkey sandwiches for a week at least. How's that elastic waistband holding up...?

11:26 AM  
Blogger Lis said...

LOL. Instead of the hulk, you should have just labled yourself a voluptuous Wonder Woman!
The things we women do to get into (or stay in) our favorite slinky black dress!

1:11 PM  
Blogger Trucker Bob said...

Color me stupid aka_monty, but stapled to what? Is it like piercing?

Good story Ivy!

1:24 PM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

My ears stick out so I had 'em pinned back.

Okay, not really. It's sort of like piercing/acupuncture~~helps control your appetite & boost your metabolism.

1:33 PM  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

I bet you looked Great! and I doubt you expanded at all from eating cake!

It seems lately to me that I wake up thin and go to bed fat!

2:53 PM  
Blogger se7en said...

Interesting visuals going on in my head after reading this post! LOL


10:46 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

Omg, have been there, done that. Special event coming up and I'm like becoming Dieter of the Year, but once it's over, I become Incredible Dorothy. Not a pretty sight. ;o)

Hey, I'm wondering if that stapling thing works?

1:12 AM  
Blogger Da Gal said...

Yeah... feeling the incredible hulk in me coming out. Perhaps it has something to do with the 4 or 5 rootbeer floats I've enjoyed since Thanksgiving... and the one or two more I'll have today. Good thing I am wearing elastic jammy pants today.

7:20 AM  

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