November 17, 2005

I Can't Think of a Title For This Post, So Sue Me

Have you ever known someone that has always intimidated you, and then one day you decide, "hey, they’re no better than me, I can face that person" ? Soon after I transferred to another location within my company, I looked across the employee cafeteria and noticed my old boss and his boss. After I finished my meal, I made a special trip to their table to say hello and chat and show them how confident and secure I had become. Smiling at my reflection later in the restroom mirror I had to cut my self-congratulatory thoughts short when I discovered the huge chunk of roast beef imbedded in my front teeth.

Ever notice how difficult it can be to tell someone that they have something embarrassing going on like maybe food on their face? If you ever see me with a booger hanging out of my nose, or the tampon string showing from under my bathing suit, I want to be told and I want to be told fast! I don’t care how uncomfortable it is for you! Don’t waste precious time trying to figure out how to put it delicately. Because when I do eventually discover this offensive thing, I am going to spend a great deal of time trying to calculate how long it could have been that way, and recalling every single person I may have come in contact with since. You'll want your name to be at the recent end of that timeline!


Blogger Karlos said...

That's too funny!

You know the clear, adhesive plastic strip on the backs of the legs of Levis? The one that shows the waist size and brand?

I have a bad habit of not taking them off (after all the years of wearing Levis without those silly tags) before or after washing.

Last year I went to work and spent the entire morning walking around with one on before a friend walked up behind me and ripped it off, laughing of course. Did it again this year too. "Are those new jeans Carlos?" "Yes they are," striking my best jeans-model pose before the friend started cracking up.

That's not in the same league as boogers or tampon strings, but I thought I'd relate anyway :-)

3:53 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

OK, I really laughed out loud at this one. Thanks for the morning wake-up call! ;o)

4:52 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

My husband has a habit of hitching up and tucking the back of my skirt/dress into my knickers when we hug, and I dread to think how many times he got away with it and had a good luagh when we first dated - I'm on to him now though ;o)

5:10 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hivy, where does all this agression come from in your family?

6:38 AM  
Anonymous TSB said... blew your nose and some of that gunk is stuck to your shirt...just thought I'd let ya know :P

6:57 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

You'd like me then. I tell people when I see they have a booger showing or food in their teeth, etc... I want to be told too. People appreciate that.

11:30 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I once told a woman she wore too much powder, applied inappropriately. Fortuntely, I was half-stoned, so she didn't hit me. But the next time I saw her, she wasn't wearing the goop, AND SHE THANKED ME. So I indeed vote for your side of the story: Pipe up.

12:40 PM  
Blogger FTS said...

Where does bathroom tissue stuck to the bottom of your shoe (or worse, in your drawers) rank on the scale? Above or below the tampon string? Just asking, you know, so I know exactly how long to time it before letting you know on 'Ritafest night. ;)

2:26 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Carlos - I'm totally with you on the new jeans/pant thing. That happens to me ALL the time (well not all the time, because I work for a nonprofit so "new" things are few and far between). A few weeks ago, I had to give a tour of the museum to all these "very important people". So, I got all dressed up in my new clothes - complete with discounted price tag and size information hanging out. AND NO ONE TOLD ME! I GAVE A TOUR THAT WAY!

So, yeah, I guess I’ll never be "socially acceptable 75205 material". Sigh.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Long Iron said...

One of my pet peeves has to do with people with bad breath or body odor. Unless your in the middle of a big sweat bath from some extracurricular activity, there should be no reason to stink. Same goes with breath. I actually keep mints on my desk and for a very good reason. When I am talking to people, I don't want to smell what they had for dinner last night! I hand them out freely and now people realize I am not trying to be mean and they actually come looking for them now.

And as for the tampon string, I don't think I would have a problem telling you but you may wonder why I was gazing at your crotch!

5:41 PM  
Blogger se7en said...

Wow, the tampon string would be totally hilarious! I would probably stare so much that you would have to pick on it though, no need to say it out loud! LOL


6:10 PM  
Anonymous Monique said...

Tampon string hanging out of your bathing suit? ROFL!! But, um, seriously? I hope I'd never be looking closely enough at that, um, region, to, um, notice that particular problem.

7:22 PM  
Blogger aka_monty said...

And that is the number one reason I never eat broccoli when I'm on a date.

I actually had someone send me some pictures once...and one of them involved a girl in a bikini, fawning all over some hunky guy...and a little white string peeking out of her ever so skimpy bottoms.
So, that was you? ;)

10:10 PM  
Blogger ShooShoo said...


Amen, sistah! I *hate* when I find out something like that's been going on with no one telling me!

11:49 PM  
Blogger mckay said...

what is with people not pointing out the prob? come on, peeps! let's show the love.

to all you fine folks, i gotcher back.

this reminds me of the recent Desparate Housewives plot...

9:59 AM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

Oh man, I'm with you on that. I mean, how much trouble can it be to tell someone when something like this happens?

1:19 PM  

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