November 04, 2005

I Am Not Devious (much)

My sister Jules recently posted this horrible lie on her site. Poor thing, her memory is shot. (Too many birthdays) She only got two facts exactly right in this whole story: #1 yes, our dad was in the Air Force, and #2 yes, I did say my own name out loud. But do I have to pay for this crime for the REST OF OUR LIVES? I am searching my brain trying to think of even ONE OTHER time in my life when I was "devious"... and oh... wait! I just remembered another one...

One of my 8th grade teachers reminded me of the child-catcher from the movie "Chitty, Chitty Bang, Bang". One thing that woman would not tolerate was candy or gum chewing in her classroom. So every day before I walked into her room, I would apply a heavy coating of Lip Smackers lip-gloss. The bubble-gum and grape scents worked best to drive her nuts. She would walk around the room sniffing at all of the students demanding to know who was guilty. I would innocently open my mouth to show her I had nothing to hide in there. Oh...some day I know I will have to answer for my evil ways.

I'd like to leave you with this little saying, which is sure to become a classic (the first part of it already is....)

Oh, what a tangled web we weave... when we put more than one bra at a time in the washer.


Blogger jules said...

Balderdash. I NEVER lie.

4:07 AM  
Blogger FTS said...

SO what's the score so far? Devious Goober 2, Klutz 1?

5:56 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Ivy-kins devious? NEVER, well almost never.
Have to take your word for the second part of the classic saying.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

The child-catcher was the scariest!

But I've just been over at your sisters... and am shocked! You were waaaaaay too smart as a kid, though I have to admit, if one of my kids did that, I'd been laughing too ;o) Brilliant!

8:39 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

You are a devious one!
The bras do get all tangled up when you put them in the washer. Expensive bras should be hand washed, but I have resorted to buying the cheapies from Walmart and tossing them in the washer. I enjoy the theraputic benefit of the untangling.

10:09 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"..more than one..." = all of them?

Of course. I know you too well.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Trucker Bob said...

Just because you've got this great template, I don't think it gives you the right to pick on Jules.

Besides, I would'nt mess with anybody tough enough to use the word "balderdash".

2:37 PM  

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