October 27, 2005

Skip This Post If You're Looking for Humor

If, by chance you heard that I was funny... This particular post is not meant to be funny - it breaks my heart. If it's humor you want, just go on to the next post, please. Tonight my 14 year old daughter started her own site that has her original poetry. Keep in mind that even though I do not know most of you very well, and knowing that there is a possibility that you may think less of me... I am going to tell you anyway: this summer I attempted suicide. Without a thought (at the time) about how that might affect anyone I loved. As I helped my Baby Girl set up her own site tonight... I realized the effect I may have had on her. Please drop by and say hello to my baby: QRM - I THINK that "Never Let Go of the Past" and "Never Close Your Eyes" might be about me. I know that "Grow Up" is about my soon-to-be ex-husband (effective November 1st). Next post I'll be my old self again, because things are really looking up for us. Right now all I can think about is the pain that I may have caused someone that I truly love.

12 Comments:

Blogger Cheryl said...

Sorry for what you are going through. On the other hand, if you hadnt been that low, if you had been remotely capable of thinking like this back when you nearly mucked up, THEN you could feel guilty.
Don't go getting the omg's and the love mixed up with guilt, will ya, just celebrate a wonderful escape!
:-)
xx

12:59 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi Susan, I am saddened to hear that your life reached such an ebb that you would contemplate ending it.
We have all had our moments of pleasure and despair and the highs and lows can seem overwhelming, but for the sake of your kids, your friends and yes, even your new b***ging friends please be strong and hurry back to us as that fresh new funny girl we have come to love. (I won't call you Jezabel anymore.)
This is getting to be a family affair, I have just put your sister on the b**g roll and now your daughter is up for review.

1:10 AM  
Blogger Ivy said...

From one Ivy to another "Hi"

1:24 AM  
Blogger Karlos said...

Hello. I've only been reading your b**g for a short time, but I can say that I'm pleased you're still around. I like your wit and your candor. Plus you’re a fellow Texan :-)

Cj

2:53 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

I see (*my*) life as a stretch of mountains. Unfortuantely I don't seem to spend much time on the summits, and some of the gorge's are horrid. Sorry to hear yours reached such a low, but glad to hear you're on the up :o)

5:29 AM  
Blogger FTS said...

Wow, what inspired words she writes. Very deep.

No witty repartee today. Just a nice hi. :)

5:46 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

Just try to focus on the future, it sounds like it's looking brighter and you and your kids can heal together. Isn't it amazing how much people open up to strangers? Although I have to admit, almost all the bloggers that I've run into feel more like family/close community than strangers.

Now I'm off to check out your baby's blog...

6:22 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Being funny all the time is too much pressure. Being genuine and real is how a great blog is produced. You have a, great blog. BTW, I do not think less of you, it takes courage to put yourself out there like that.

7:16 AM  
Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

Thanks everyone. When I woke up this morning and remembered that I had posted this, I immediately ran out to delete it. But based on the comments, it seems like people really understand. So thank you for your kind words. And thanks for checking my daughter's site. :) Have a great weekend!

3:13 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ivy: Think of all the fun you would have denied everybody. Don't do that again, you hear? NO MATTER WHAT!

Hugs,
Hoss

4:19 PM  
Blogger No_Newz said...

I'm happy you were not successful in your attempt. I lost my sister that way. The effect to the whole family is beyond words. Her three children have changed significantly since then. Anyhow, heading over to see your girl and checkout her mad skillz. Thanks for visiting me and thanks so much for the plug on your sidebar. Speaking of peeing your pants, I wrote about that once. If you want to read about it, pop on a depends and come on over to
http://nonewzhomefires.blogspot.com/2005/05/celebrate-good-times.html

(if the link doesn't work go to my may 12th post.)
Lois Lane

1:33 PM  
Blogger Dumber said...

I just found your blog today through your sisters. She had visited mine and well you know just kind of followed the links. I would just like to say I am I am very glad you are still here and back to your funny self.

Dumb

1:11 PM  

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