October 22, 2005

Hit Me, Baby, One More Time

Last night my daughter was trying to teach a very unwilling student how to hit a golf-ball at the driving range. After much whining and complaining, I finally walked up behind her and tried to pretend I was interested in learning. That’s when she whacked the side of my head with a very hard swing from one of her clubs. Felt like the 8-iron, but what the heck do I know? And that got me to thinking: Oh, man! I sure hope I have a black eye tomorrow! And what a letdown it was to feel no blood trickling down my cheek. Damn, no stitches required. And of course, this morning after careful inspection in the mirror: nothing to show for the pain! Figures. It’s just like the time the softball hit me between the eyes, and the time I got hit on my nose by a can of shaving cream at church camp. I just don’t bruise easily enough. One of my friends at work has something new every month: a bandage, a splint, or an ankle brace. He gets all kinds of sympathy! It’s not like I want to be seriously hurt, but think how cool I would look with an eye patch!


Blogger FTS said...

I came here because Hoss threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't. Since he insisted, I'm going to keep hij happy by coming back a second time.

And a third... and a fourth...


6:36 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

You seem to have all of the misfortune, but none of the luck. For details, see my post today. You're telling nice stories, Ivy.

6:37 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

And so say all of us, about the nice stories, is there a pattern of disaster forming here though?

7:18 AM  
Blogger jules said...

I TOLD you the writing was good, but did you listen to ME? No, you listen to Hoss. I'm gonna have to cap that guy! Oh wait, he's old, he'll be dead soon! :) (Hoss, she wasn't kidding about being afraid!)
Her big sis

8:09 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

Nine iron works a LOT better at leaving marks, if you want to be sure about bruisage.

Or golf cleats.

8:24 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

Hey girl..Hoss told me to come on over and I always do what Hoss says because I respect my elders;) Nice place you got here! I'll be hoping that a bruise will form over the weekend for you.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Old Hoss said come here. I always vote for listenin' to my elders, 'cause at my age I don't have so many.

You are funny girl. I'll be back.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Jona said...

If you've lived the pain, it seems unfair not to have a icky bruise to show for it!

I came via Hoss, and I'l be back :o)

12:20 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I listened to Hoss too, and came to check out your site. I love it! You are hilarious, and I will be back.

12:31 PM  
Blogger MommaK said...

Hoss sent me to say hello. I, for one, think eye patches are really sexy - but maybe that's just me and pirates ;-)

1:16 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Hoss suggested that I come by. I am glad I did. I wish I bruised like you do !

I will be back again ! :)

5:09 PM  
Blogger Huw said...

Reminds me of the time I was attacked by a hornet. Stung 9 times I was. You'd think that would cause some pretty grotesque swelling no? Well, maybe it did, but as it was all on my scalp it was covered with hair. For that amount of pain I deserved some badge of honour.


5:28 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

I came here via a link on another blog. Don't even know Hoss. (Hi, Hoss!) But what a lucky choice I made. Damn, woman, you are funny! I will be back for more.

5:34 PM  

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