October 14, 2005

Annoying? Who? Me????

I found a very rare treasure in life: A friend that talks just as much as I do during a movie. I’m not referring to annoying chatter at a public theater – this is just the two of us watching the TV in her living room. It is an intricate balance of our dialogue and that on the screen. It takes precision and timing, an art that you would think we’d taken years to master. But it is actually a talent we just discovered we both have the exact same amount of.

Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering how certain expressions came about. Here’s a weird one: “Go fly a kite”. What is that supposed to mean? I think flying a kite is great fun, so is that what they want me to do? Go and have a good time? But the way people say it sounds more like: “Get out of my hair”. Ooh, that’s another weird expression. If I’m really annoying someone and they want to get rid of me, why don’t they just say what my mom used to always tell me: “Go play in traffic”. At least that expression has a clear meaning.

My husband has told me repeatedly that I have an annoying habit of stating the obvious. Wonder if he means like the other night when I walked into the gas station wearing a motorcycle suit, boots, full-face helmet, and gloves, handed the clerk my money and said “Three dollars premium for the motorcycle at pump one.” Hmmm… I don’t know, he could have thought I was driving something else…

One of the many ways that I annoy my husband is to use phrases that bother him. He doesn’t understand why I would say that I “jumped out of my skin”. Well, duh… that’s the easiest way to be “beside myself”.

Some people seem to think that I talk too much and too often. But I’ve been very good lately at picking up visual clues that someone (particularly family members) has had enough of what I have to say. Subtle hints like the kids’ eyes rolling back in their heads just before they exchange annoyed glances with each other, or when they make little guns out of their fingers and shoot themselves with them, or there’s my husband’s excessive and increasing grip on the steering wheel. Occasionally I’ll get verbal clues like the time my son said, “mom, do you talk just to hear yourself talk?” or when my daughter asked, “mother, you know those collars they put on dogs to keep them from barking, do you think one would keep you from talking?”

3 Comments:

Blogger Peter said...

There's just no pleasing some folk is there.
wv = qdvqzi

6:36 PM  
Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

I personally don't find myself THAT annoying. What's their problem???

7:10 PM  
Blogger Netpowersoft said...

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Angelina Jolie


You take pleasure in the most twisted things...
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Pamela Anderson


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5:26 AM  

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