October 14, 2005

Allergic To The Kitchen

I have a friend whose fancy oven broke. She is in mourning over this thing! I mean she would pay anything, DO anything to get it working again! She even pulled it away from the wall and tried to fix it herself. My oven broke three years ago, and that’s just fine with me. It’s not as if I knew what to do with it anyway. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking of all the other things she could be using that broken oven for. It makes a great place to hide Christmas presents or dirty dishes.

After three years of having a broken oven, (hey, three of the burners on top still worked) we finally bought a new one. My daughter is baking brownies, cookies, and pies. My husband is broiling steaks, chicken and ribs. My son is enjoying eating everything that comes out of it! They are having all kinds of fun with their new toy. But I use that new oven way more often than all of them combined. In fact, I use it every time I walk into the kitchen. (Our old one didn’t have a clock on it.)

Some people don’t understand my aversion to cooking. I have to wonder… if they burned or cut themselves every time they attempted it, would they keep trying? And it’s not as if anything I’ve ever cooked is worth the pain and suffering. (I'm talking about MY pain and suffering, not that of those who try to eat the stuff.) I’ve trained my family not to expect miracles – you know the kind I mean… things like having the hot foods come out hot and the cold ones cold, or having more than one side dish, and bread that comes out of the oven at the same time as the meal rather than 5 minutes after everyone leaves the table.

I recently purchased some new clothes that (gasp!) require ironing. This was so I could make a halfway decent impression on some people I would meet on a business trip to New York, and then never see again. Maybe fool them into thinking I dressed nice all the time. Well the ironing wasn’t a big issue at the hotel (remember, I did learn SOME skills in that 8th grade Home Economics class, and hotels seem to have all the required equipment) – but once I returned from the trip, I had to BUY an iron and ironing board for my home! Well… only if I ever want to wear those new clothes again. I hadn’t had that stupid iron plugged in 5 minutes, when I decided I didn’t like the position of the board and pulled it to a prime spot under the light. That is when the evil iron (possibly thinking I was in the kitchen) threw itself at my bare belly and branded me! Note to self: stop ironing wearing nothing but bra and panties.

4 Comments:

Blogger Susan Hanson said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:22 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

I had some shirts that required ironing~~~~~~~~~~
I threw them away!!!
I hope the deletee didn't suggest you stop wearing the bra and panties, (panties, that's a cute word.)
WV = ycklkhh, sounds like laughing.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

Oh, and by the way, Peter. I didn't go so far as to throw the clothes away... but after about ummm, say using the iron maybe TWICE, I haven't worn those clothes since.

7:09 PM  
Blogger Bev Sykes said...

Could you please explain this term "ironing" for me. Thank you.

7:22 AM  

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