May 30, 2012
May 18, 2012
April 07, 2009
March 27, 2009
March 06, 2008
I hope this works, I don't know what I'm doing. I swiped my son's camera after Mallory used it this past weekend. She had to interview her grandpa and grandma about WWII for a history project. So I've uploaded videos to YouTube now, can you believe it?
September 09, 2007
September 06, 2007
I'm only trying to help...
Well, truthfully, it’s not that much trouble, but it’s the thought that counts.
September 03, 2007
Fair warning. But was there ever any real hope for the victim's escape?
"What was that, sweetie?" I asked my son to repeat himself.
"I said: 'You're goin' DOWN!'"
(Don't worry, he wasn't talking to me. He was threatening the chocolate cake.)
April 18, 2007
What's Behind Door Number 2
Now it happens that I was the person in that first stall. And I thought to myself, "How rude! If I were her, I would have gone down to the last stall to do that!"
Being the kind of person who likes confirmation that I'm always right, I asked an authority later that evening: "Mallory, If you had to poo at school, and someone was already in the first stall, would you sit RIGHT BY THEM to do that, or go down to a stall as far away as you could?"
She answered that she would, indeed choose the stall inches away from the first occupant.
"WHY?" I asked, horrified – in my best "where did I go wrong in raising you?" tone of voice.
"Because if someone else walked in, they wouldn't know which one of us was taking the poo."
February 16, 2007
"It smells like dog shampoo", was his reply.
So knowing he didn't like it, I immediately bought a gallon of each: shampoo and conditioner. And made sure to wash my hair with them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Today is the one year anniversary of our divorce, and it just occurred to me to wonder... Did he mean it smelled like dog shampoo BEFORE, or AFTER it touched wet dog fur?
February 07, 2007
December 23, 2006
Wonder How This Ended???
December 20, 2006
Don't Fan it MY Way...
Mom? Do cats...? Whew! Never mind! I found out the answer!
Labels: Scanner Mania
December 18, 2006
Scanner Fun Part 2 (OK I'll Stop For Now Before I Get Carried Away)
Labels: Scanner Mania
Fun With The Scanner
"Yeah right, Mom! I think you're blowing smoke up my @$$ - this will never work without the Ecto Goggles!"
Labels: Scanner Mania
December 05, 2006
It's All or Nothin'
Me: "Oh yeah, I was so faithful and diligent about it! Then suddenly dropped it like I've done everything else my whole life.
Friend: "Well, at least you're consistent."
July 17, 2006
BabyGirl Emailed A Picture To Me From Her Cell Phone
July 15, 2006
July 12, 2006
Growing up Ivy
July 10, 2006
Overheard On The Elevator:
July 09, 2006
When the bus arrived downtown, the lady sitting next to me said, "Excuse me...." It was fairly obvious that she was impressed with my great intelligence and was very likely about to ask me how in the world I could do those puzzles so fast, and in pen!!!
And then she continued: "I thought you should know that your shirt is inside-out."
July 03, 2006
First I Was Afraid; I Was Petrified; Kept Thinking I Could Never Live if You Said, "Let Me Drive"....
May 27, 2006
May 13, 2006
Where Has All My Money Gone? It Ran Away With My Memory
May 05, 2006
You Can Make Your Son Help Remodel The Bathroom, But You Can't Prevent Him From Mocking Your Attempts To Document The Progress With A Camera
May 04, 2006
April 26, 2006
TV Commercials That Get on My Nerves
The Citibank commercial where the guy won't even bother to hang up the phone when his food is catches on fire. He tries to move the burning pan off the stove with a broom. What a dork. Get a cordless phone or hang up, doofus. (but I do like the commercial where the guy is on the train and has to repeat his password: "BIG BOY" louder)
Lamisil. When that cartoon creature "Digger" (pictured above) crawls under the big toenail, I get up and leave the room.
The commercial where they try to get you to call in for a great brochure to go to a school that teaches you how to make great brochures... a wonderful new career. Then they introduce the operator who will take your calls. If it's such a great career, why isn't she doing it, instead of answering the phone?
And finally, any commercial that has the words "ask your doctor about..." without giving me a hint of what it's for.
April 19, 2006
Slurpee or Icee
OK, the other day I passed by Mrs. Field's and ordered an Icee. How long have they been selling Icees? I have no clue. But one day I was passing by there and I heard some teenage girls squeal, "Icees!". (I had never noticed.) So of course it stuck in my mind and eventually I had to buy one. It brought back great childhood memories. But now I can't remember which one it was that I used to get as a kid: Slurpee, or Icee? I remember walking down the road with my sister and we would buy one and drink it on the way home. One day we drank ours, PLUS the one that was meant for our baby brother. Hey - better to drink it and bring him NOTHING than bring him home one that was sadly melted...
It's just bugging me to know which one I got as a kid. I'm 44 years old now, that was when I lived in Louisiana, so the oldest I could have been was 8 because we moved from there after my second grade year. I guess I could research them both and see which product has been around as long as dirt... er.... I mean me. I also could just say "screw it, who cares which one it was?" - but that's just not my style.
March 27, 2006
It's Not Even My Birthday!
March 25, 2006
I Met "aka Monty"!
Sure was a fun night, and don't believe a word Jules says about it!
OK, I'm off to bed. I know, I'm a lightweight, but I had to get home and get to sleep.